Living Under the Abaya - Part I

Driving to a friends home last evening, with my abaya draped over my shoulders and my exposed knees peeking out before the air-conditioning vent, I had a renewed sense of just how restricting this place is for women. I saw a picture the other day on the news of a Saudi woman getting rescued from a flooding car in full abaya and head-covering. (This was from a winter story of sudden rainfall.) If you are a Saudi woman, there are few to no occasions that are safe to go unshrouded. Even life-threatening emergencies are not reasons to uncover. The weird thing is that many women don't think like American women (imagine that!). Many Saudi women are extremely conservative themselves - they have no desire to uncover, or drive, or push the social norms. Their religion and cultural/tribal norms teach that following God and protecting their family honor demands these practices. How does wearing the abaya do this? I'm learning more about this so look for a follow up post.

Saudi women can take off their abayas in their homes if they are with close family or female friends. However, with extended family or male guests they remain shrouded and often segregated. Even going to open the door for a female friend, where you may be observed by curious neighbors, is an occasion to cover.

We are the lucky few -- living on the DQ (diplomatic quarter) is like living in another country. I wore my shorts and tank top up to the swimming pool the other day. Jeff and I walk down the street holding hands. I run the wadi trail in comfortable exercise clothes. We are free to be seen, to express our personalities and emotions publically, to have ideas and opinions, to live full lives.

Even more than this, we are spiritually free. Free to follow a God who knows exactly what we are. This is Yahweh, who created us whole - body, soul and mind and intended us to live rich lives in relationship with Him. However, He sees us fully and knows what we are capable of doing in the darkness of our hearts. This God wants our heart's affection, but will not coerce, restrict, or squash us in order to win us. This God (if we let Him pursue us) gives us a new heart, new desires, and the power to live a good life. When we are made new in Him, we don't have to create rule upon rule upon rule in order to live safely in His blessing. When His favor comes to us through the work of his Son there is nothing we can do to lose it.

Why I Love A Saudi Floor Plan

We have grown to love the floor plan of our home. The homes in Riyadh are designed to facilitate the separation of sexes. While our DQ (diplomatic quarter) home is more open and less parceled up than a home in the city, it carries some distinctively Saudi features. Sliding wooden doors allow for easy closing off of the front of the home. In theory Jeff could have a male friend over, they could chat in the front sitting room and eat a separate dinner in the dining room without ever seeing me. We have several Western friends who live according to these social rules. In a lot of ways it makes life easier for the woman of the house. When her husband is entertaining, she can continue to take care of business in the back of the home or she can relax and not worry about the condition of the back rooms or her personal presentability. In other words the kitchen can be a wreck and she can wear yoga pants all day. It doesn't matter.

Our purpose in liking the floor plan is different - we homeschool. In the front of the house we can maintain a certain atmosphere of scholarship, creativity, productivity, discourse, while the back of the house provides a place to play, cook, do laundry, be entertained. While schooling the older kids in the morning, my boisterous toddler can play, dance, growl, and wrestle in the back (which is exactly what he needs) without disturbing our thoughtful environment (which is exactly what we need).

As an aside, there are several other fascinating features of Saudi homes to note. Many homes have separate entrances for men and women. Also, many have maid or driver quarters, as foreign household help is extremely common here. Many have private courtyards with high walls for privacy and many have roof-top terraces for enjoying the cooler evening air.

It can be hard to move into a home that you have never seen before. We weren't sure how this home would or wouldn't meet our needs, but God has given us a good home. We are content and ready to welcome any adventurous friends who'd like to visit!

Kingdom Tower Skybridge at Dusk

Last Friday evening we went on a family outing to the top of the Kingdom Tower Skybridge, (think Space Needle remolded into a bridge shape). On a clear day the Skybridge affords fabulous views of the city. I walked away with a deeper sense of the vastness of Riyadh. Thanks to some extremely long wait times in line, we hit the top just as the last vestiges of daylight were fading. It was worth the wait!

Impressive!

Yep! Past dinner time! Dad has the hard job!

Extremely Private or Cooped Up

The weather has turned hot in Riyadh with daily temperatures exceeding 100'F. This translates into more time indoors and less motivation to go out. On a positive note, this means that Jeff will be taking over the grocery shopping soon, as I can hardly stand to be out in my abaya. In the last two weeks I've had to cancel a number of outings due to miscalculated scheduling (failure to plan according to business "family hours"), family sickness (the children have been sick for a week now - NO, it is not MERS!), and single parenthood (Jeff's been traveling). I begin to understand why Saudi families stay indoors so much. However, they are certainly more adapted to the heat. They frequently picnic at parks as the sun is going down and typically stay up much later in the evenings. On a recent evening Jeff observed scores of Saudis picnicking along the highway as he was driving back from the airport. Apparently, this is a common gathering place until early hours of the morning. Early kid bedtimes are so deeply ingrained in me that I'm not sure I can make this "desert adaptation." However, it is only May and we need to get outside, so perhaps we will learn to make some exceptions.

Saudi people are extremely private. Driving down a city street, one will observe only a handful of Saudi men, and more rarely a Saudi woman. Houses come with high concrete walls and few windows. I wonder...what do the Saudi women do in their houses all day. Sleep? Watch T.V? Visit with neighbors? I know it must vary. But it is a mystery to me now.

I'm thankful for our industrious home. My kids are amazing at finding projects. As I write Elijah is planting watermelon seeds and Ellen is creating little chicks to put inside her plastic Easter eggs. I'm thankful for homeschooling and all the various ideas that our curriculum presents to us. I often hear Ellen playfully playing with words, as Eugene Field did when he was young. And, I love how Elijah's mind latches onto some idea for a project and he looks for ways to execute it. Yesterday we began a unit on knot tying and spent several minutes brainstorming how knots were used in ancient times. Five minutes after the lesson Elijah was creating a zip-cord across the living room! Kids are amazing and very entertaining.

Masmak Fortress

Stay tuned for Benjamin's First Haircut...oh so cute!

A Truly Gritty Day

Wednesday we experienced our first massive Arabian sandstorm. I've never seen the sky this color - It was truly brown and completely veiled the sun. You could taste dirt in the air. During the evening we welcomed the relief of a lengthy thunder and lightening storm. The rain fell as enormous mud drops. I spent an hour the next day hosing off  the thick coating of dirt on our front patio.

An Unexpected Meeting

Last weekend Elijah had an unexpected opportunity to meet President Obama. He told me he knew it was going to be a good day when he woke up to scrambled eggs. (We had to get up very early - the logistics of getting to the same room as the president were quite extensive.) These are the things Elijah highlighted for the day: 1) shuttled to the very grand, Ritz Carlton Hotel, 2) saw John Kerry 10 feet away say a few words to the new ambassador then climb into his motorpool vehicle, 3) heard the president address the embassy families, 4) said "hello" and shook President Obama's hand, 5) spent the afternoon at a favorite park, 6) had fish and chips at Outback Steakhouse. What more could a 7 year old want in a day!

Ellen was there too! What was a thrilling morning for her brother was a heavily disappointing morning for Ellen. She turns 6 three weeks too late! It was a hard life lesson for her.

Nature Study in the Diplomatic Quarter

In 1989 the Diplomatic Quarter in Riyadh was selected for the Aga Khan Award for architecture. What was once barren, flat desert land along the Wadi Hanifa was transformed into a beautiful neighborhood of embassies, gardens, and homes. Tens of thousands of cubic meters of earth and rock were moved to recreate the space. Gardens were carefully planned with native plants of the Arabian peninsula. What a real pleasure to live here!

I can literally walk two blocks behind my home to a sandy road that twists and turns, climbs and falls, as it circles the compound. Morning runs take me past acacia, sagebrush, bougainvillea, jujube trees, etc. and scenic views of the wadi. For my NM friends, wadi is just the Arabic name for arroyo, a large dry canyon that acts as a funnel to channel any rain to fertile date tree farms below.

The Arabian peninsula has several north-south veins of wadis and escarpments. Riyadh (which incidentally means "garden" in Arabic) is situated on one of the largest wadis in the country, the Wadi Hanifa, and it runs along the largest escarpment, the Tuwaiq Escarpment. Both are surprisingly beautiful land features in the midst of a dry, barren land.

Here are some shots of a recent nature walk I took with the kids along the wadi. I will try to name what I can--although I may get some things wrong and need to correct myself later on.

Looking down into the wadi

Sweet little companions

Under the Jujubes

Gorgeous Agaves!

Two varieties of Aloes--flowering!

 Some kind of thistle

Waterfall in the desert!

Sketching...

So thankful for beautiful things to admire. God is good.